Weak Parents
"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me. That is why, for the sake of Christ, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9
"For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put NO CONFIDENCE in the flesh--though I myself could have such confidence." Philipp. 3:3
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly and despised things of the world, and the things that are not, to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast in His presence. It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God: our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 1:27-31
"In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." Romans 8:26
Something that strikes me about Paul every time I read his words is his humility and emphasis on weakness. He seems to go out of his way to dispel any myths that what he does is in his own strength. Sure, he has reason to boast--he has an impressive resume as a Pharisee, but he himself says he will boast all the more gladly in his weakness so that the power of Christ may rest on Him. It seems to imply that acknowledging and sharing our weakness increases the power Christ gives us.
I don't know about the majority of people, but being a parent is the only job I feel like I really will never be qualified to be. I'm impatient, self-centered, unwise, lazy, and I really love my sleep. Any other job I had before parenting required about 5% of my effort compared to parenting. It's big sinners leading little sinners--seems like a disaster waiting to happen if you ask me.
I listened to a talk this morning by Paul David Tripp and it was so very helpful in developing a mindset for parenting. It is not the "arrived" people shepherding the poor lost sinners. It is one poor, lost sinner who has found a Savior showing other poor, lost sinners the way to know Him. Tripp gave example after example of situations that tend to exasperate us in parenting: children procrastinating on school assignments and then asking for help at the 11th hour, children fighting at late hours in the evening when all the parent would like to do is relax and enjoy some peace and quiet, children refusing to eat dinner you have prepared for them, and more!
In each example, he shows our fleshly reaction: shock that a child would procrastinate and be so irresponsible, indignation that children would be so inconsiderate to interrupt our quiet evening time, offense that a child would fight us on what we tell them to do. He is so so easy to listen to because he uses humor to reveal our hearts. After portraying a failed parenting situation in a humorous way He then asks if we think our children are thinking, "Wow, now here is a wise man. He has gotten to the heart of the matter and I see I was wrong." He asks if any of us have a messy garage that we can't even drive into anymore? We keep saying we are going to clean it out, but we've procrastinated so long it seems impossible. We are so interested in our own comfort and leisure that we consider interruptions from our children as an excuse to explode in anger and blame THEM for being so selfish. We expect our children to want to obey and be trustingly dependent on our wisdom for them when we all constantly want to live in autonomy and dependence on self.
If we come to parenting thinking we are the wise ones who have figured it all out long ago, we will just be an exasperated judge towards our children. Rather, if we come as repentant sinners who need God's minute-by-minute grace, we can come alongside our children with real empathy, love, and mercy, and shepherd them with humility. If we can say to a tired and angry child, "I'm really tired and grumpy this week too. I get it. Let's pray for God to give us a new perspective and renewed energy" I think that will be much more effective in helping them know God and change than all the yelling and shaming in the world. We are ambassadors, trying, in moment-by-moment dependence on the Spirit, to shepherd our children and give them a picture of God's loving parenting of us.
"For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put NO CONFIDENCE in the flesh--though I myself could have such confidence." Philipp. 3:3
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly and despised things of the world, and the things that are not, to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast in His presence. It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God: our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 1:27-31
"In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." Romans 8:26
Something that strikes me about Paul every time I read his words is his humility and emphasis on weakness. He seems to go out of his way to dispel any myths that what he does is in his own strength. Sure, he has reason to boast--he has an impressive resume as a Pharisee, but he himself says he will boast all the more gladly in his weakness so that the power of Christ may rest on Him. It seems to imply that acknowledging and sharing our weakness increases the power Christ gives us.
I don't know about the majority of people, but being a parent is the only job I feel like I really will never be qualified to be. I'm impatient, self-centered, unwise, lazy, and I really love my sleep. Any other job I had before parenting required about 5% of my effort compared to parenting. It's big sinners leading little sinners--seems like a disaster waiting to happen if you ask me.
I listened to a talk this morning by Paul David Tripp and it was so very helpful in developing a mindset for parenting. It is not the "arrived" people shepherding the poor lost sinners. It is one poor, lost sinner who has found a Savior showing other poor, lost sinners the way to know Him. Tripp gave example after example of situations that tend to exasperate us in parenting: children procrastinating on school assignments and then asking for help at the 11th hour, children fighting at late hours in the evening when all the parent would like to do is relax and enjoy some peace and quiet, children refusing to eat dinner you have prepared for them, and more!
In each example, he shows our fleshly reaction: shock that a child would procrastinate and be so irresponsible, indignation that children would be so inconsiderate to interrupt our quiet evening time, offense that a child would fight us on what we tell them to do. He is so so easy to listen to because he uses humor to reveal our hearts. After portraying a failed parenting situation in a humorous way He then asks if we think our children are thinking, "Wow, now here is a wise man. He has gotten to the heart of the matter and I see I was wrong." He asks if any of us have a messy garage that we can't even drive into anymore? We keep saying we are going to clean it out, but we've procrastinated so long it seems impossible. We are so interested in our own comfort and leisure that we consider interruptions from our children as an excuse to explode in anger and blame THEM for being so selfish. We expect our children to want to obey and be trustingly dependent on our wisdom for them when we all constantly want to live in autonomy and dependence on self.
If we come to parenting thinking we are the wise ones who have figured it all out long ago, we will just be an exasperated judge towards our children. Rather, if we come as repentant sinners who need God's minute-by-minute grace, we can come alongside our children with real empathy, love, and mercy, and shepherd them with humility. If we can say to a tired and angry child, "I'm really tired and grumpy this week too. I get it. Let's pray for God to give us a new perspective and renewed energy" I think that will be much more effective in helping them know God and change than all the yelling and shaming in the world. We are ambassadors, trying, in moment-by-moment dependence on the Spirit, to shepherd our children and give them a picture of God's loving parenting of us.
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