For One Hour

Sometimes people ask me what words you can offer to those who are grieving. Our church and school community has suffered two great losses recently: a young teenager who died in an accident and a beloved teacher who died prematurely of cancer. I have lost a four year old son and a twenty year old younger brother. I know what it feels like to grieve deeply. But the truth is, I don't know what to say to grieving people. I can feel sad with them, write them a card with some meager words expressing sadness at their loss, bring a meal, etc., but I think the dilemma is that there really are no magic words. What grieving people need is empathy and for someone to "get" how they're feeling and that requires emotional effort on the part of the good friend. It's not figuring out the perfect thing to say, it's adopting a posture of love and respect that says, "I love you and I have no idea what you are going through, but I'm going to work hard to show up for you ...

When I think of the word "full" I think of meals at my in-law's house. My mother in law has the gift of hospitality. Her home is warm and welcoming, neat and cozy, and always overflowing with food when she's having a dinner party. She usually laughs when everyone has gone through the line, piling their plate high with meat, vegetables, and rolls--because after all have been filled it usually looks like no-one has gone through yet! There is still such an abundance left over that we can all take food home and feed our families for the next night too! Needless to say, we never refuse when invited to dinner at Mimi's! In the book of Colossians 2:9 we are told that "the entire fullness of God's nature dwells bodily in Christ." And we have been given fullness in Christ. That fullness, that "super abundance" that dwells in Christ now dwells in us if we have placed our faith and trust in him. It's not something we have achieved, strived for, ...

"Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither-- whatever they do prospers."   Psalm 1:1-3       Sometimes we hear words from the Bible so much they begin to lose their meaning. Beautiful words like "grace, mercy, Yahweh, blessed." In college I was an English major because I love words and the meaning of words and how an author can string these bare words together to make a tapestry of beauty. Words can evoke emotion, draw us into imaginary worlds, or inspire us to action.The Bible is filled with beautiful writing styles and poetry. The writers skillfully and intentionally chose certain words and imagery to illustrate a truth or tell a story....

It's been about 7 months since I heard the haunting words over the phone: "David's dead." Since I weakly handed the phone over to that friend, hoping she would pass it on to my mom because how could I face her with my heart breaking and no words to say? How could I tell her those words that I had hoped and wished would not be true? And how could he say that to me, just like that--He's dead, as if he were saying "He's here." Crumpling to the ground I heard the wailing and I just faintly hoped it were all a sick joke or there was some big mistake. How could that lively and healthy boy be really gone? How could he fall, that nimble athlete, stronger and faster than anyone I knew? From such a height, no one could survive. But he did fall, and he died, and now he's living in glory unspeakable. Some days I'm able to focus on the glory he's experiencing, and some days I'm overcome with the loss. The aching absence of someone who brou...

Yesterday at Sunday School, our class leader was killing time while our teacher was making some announcements in the worship service. The leader is a really entertaining guy, but also a great teacher (he teaches high school). He had us read Psalm 40 and I don't remember much about what he pointed out about it. But I do remember him asking, "How far do you think Satan wants you from God?" My immediately thought was that he wants us as far as possible. But, his answer surprised me. He held up his pointer finger and thumb like he was pinching a bug, and said, "Thiiis much." He maybe even wants us to feel like we are still close to Him, but we can add in a bit of our own self-sufficiency, comfort, whatever in case He doesn't come through for us. Wow. That one really hit home for me. So, last night as I was going to bed I almost reached for my phone to flip through Facebook or Instagram and I thought, "Nope, tonight I'm going to read Morning a...

He must have been one of the first ones there that morning. When I arrived he was shouting friendly greetings at employees, asking questions about produce, warning me about bad lettuce. We crossed paths several times, me with baby in tow, cart slowly filling. He tells me of a wife lost to Alzheimers, grandchildren and great grandchildren, of blessings in disguise. All this through joyful eyes covered in cataracts. Each time I see him, there's a smile and a story. As we check out, he allows a lady to go in front of him, even though he only has about 5 items: 2 pounds of sugar, some wafer cookies, a slab of meat, and a few other items. She insists she is okay. "Oh, I've got nowhere to go all day. I'm sure you're busy. Go on ahead." She reluctantly goes ahead and he remarks that all he's got to do today is go home to an empty house and make some cole slaw. He says this all with a smile and a twinkle in his eye. I had entered the store with my list o...

Since losing Joseph in 2008, I've had a hard time finding my new groove, my new "normal." With lots of changes, physical moves, new babies, new jobs, etc., it has felt like I've been in a perpetual survival mode. And this had become normal to me. I would look at other people who seemed to have things together and just feel a bit defeated. In the last year or so I've been reading some great authors: Nancy Guthrie and Ann Voskamp being the main two who have spurred on some real growth for me. Nancy's book Holding On to Hope encouraged me and challenged me to trust in God's word and to trust Him despite any feelings of hopelessness or depression. She also has lost two children and her unwavering trust in God's goodness has been such an example to me. I think I felt that because I've gone through something so hard that maybe I got a break from being disciplined in reading God's word and living it out. I'm learning that nobody, no matter...