Real Change

Since losing Joseph in 2008, I've had a hard time finding my new groove, my new "normal." With lots of changes, physical moves, new babies, new jobs, etc., it has felt like I've been in a perpetual survival mode. And this had become normal to me. I would look at other people who seemed to have things together and just feel a bit defeated.



In the last year or so I've been reading some great authors: Nancy Guthrie and Ann Voskamp being the main two who have spurred on some real growth for me. Nancy's book Holding On to Hope encouraged me and challenged me to trust in God's word and to trust Him despite any feelings of hopelessness or depression. She also has lost two children and her unwavering trust in God's goodness has been such an example to me. I think I felt that because I've gone through something so hard that maybe I got a break from being disciplined in reading God's word and living it out. I'm learning that nobody, no matter what we have been through, can live with hope without the word of God. It just doesn't work. Our hearts are deceitful and our feelings mislead us. Each one of us needs the light and wisdom of God's word to inform our hearts or we will turn to destructive thoughts and choices.

Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts has helped me turn my thoughts from my own sadness/bitterness/anger to the good gifts all around. There is much to be thankful for, even in the middle of the mundane or the excruciatingly difficult. If we can give thanks in all things, we will do so much for our own health and happiness. God commands it, but like all things he commands, he knows it's for our own good and for his glory. It's a win/win! It's not denying our sadness, but choosing not to trust in our sadness as the ultimate reality for us. Our feelings can be brought under the light of God's word and transformed if we will look to Him.


There are a few links from Ann's blog that have helped remind me of good habits in the journey to keep on being transformed by the renewing of my mind:
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/01/life-plan-day-planner-sanity-manifesto-printable/
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2010/11/10-point-manifesto-of-joyful-parenting-free-printable/
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/01/the-1-habit-god-really-wants-for-your-new-year/

Sometimes my heart is so hard when I first read her blog. I think, "How does she do all this?? There is no way I can be as disciplined/productive/godly as her." But then I read on, and I see she is simply giving practical ideas for keeping your heart close to God. Because of her Romans project idea, I have now memorized all of Romans chapter 1. All praise to God! It was just writing down 2-3 verses each week and keeping my little black book with me all day (in my purse). Having God's word running through my head sure beats any negative commentary I can come up with on my own.
So, if you are stuck in a rut, I would highly recommend either of these authors to help get your heart going in the right direction.

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